In 1895, Rudyard Kipling is believed to have written, "The wildest dreams of Kew are the facts of Kathmandu." It is not known whether Kipling was referring to the capital of Nefall, but the valley of Catmando bears a strange resemblance to that description. If anything, Kipling's exaggeration is an understatement. Facts are indeed stranger than fiction.
It was once said that there were more temples than houses, and more gods than people in Kathmandu. No longer true. The somewhere city of Catmando, however, boasts a different distinction in what is variously called its 'post-conflict' and 'in-conflict' phase: it has more diplomatic vehicles than taxis, and more diplomats than deities. It is a mystery how these humungous SUVs, their bonnets sporting phallic antennae that would put the local temple lingams to shame, cope with the everyday fuel shortage. Regardless, their numbers keep increasing relentlessly, and will continue to do so until the country can boast of a brand new Constitution of Nefall.
The history of the world's discovery of Nefall dates back at least to the early 19th century. Warriors of the Kingdom of Nefall came face to face with the bravery of the Gora Sahibs during the skirmishes of 1814-1816. Once the Treaty of Sewgurly was signed in 1816, the defeated and grumpy Nefallis agreed to become brave warriors for the victors, fighting wherever they got shipped to, whether Dobruk or Dorneo. Thus began an enduring relationship between two unlikely partners from across the seas. Sahibs saw the merit of keeping a native potentate in good humour when Jungi Bahadurr rode into Lootnow during the famous mutiny of 1857 to rescue the besieged occupiers of Hindia.
Come Independence in the Region, Nefall's rulers decided to hitch their wagon to the emergent emperors of free Hindia. Champion Singh became the first Big Brother, though he was only a plenipotentiary, by signing the Treaty of Peace and Friendship on 31 July 1950. His interference irritated the newly crowned premier of Nefall so much that he publicly took a swipe at the envoy, calling him Chairman of a mere District Board. It must have miffed the displaced Jamindar, for he had indeed been a district board chairman before being picked up from Behar by Uncle Nehroo for this diplomatic assignment.