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The South Asian Squat

There is one reason why the human species as a whole, and South Asia in particular, is slowly losing its mooring and hold on reality. We no longer squat.

That's right, sitting on one's haunches, with the buttocks near the ground and the legs completely folded. The world's well-to-do have stopped doing this, even though humans evolved with the squatting posture as part and parcel of anthropoid evolution and means of sit-down relaxation.

My hypothesis: Squatting provides blood to the brain, presumably for two reasons. The constriction of blood in the legs provides more juice for the brain. Likewise, with the body all bunched up, there is more blood pumped into the cranium, which is good for the grey cells. There are other advantages to squatting: when resting one does not need a chair; when going to the loo, one does not need a commode; when standing in line, one can simply get down on one's haunches and watch the world go by. You topple over less easily if your centre of gravity is lower to the ground. A significant amount of time is spent closer to the earth when 5 one squats, which can only be good. While sitting, chatting, thinking, or visiting the loo, § hours a day would be spent with more blood flowing in the brains if one is squatting rather than sitting. The quality of thought is better when you squat.

Squatting surely makes people more true to the soil. If presidents and prime ministers squatted more than they stood or sat, it stands to reason that they would take decisions that are more sensitive to the masses. As it is, sitting is seen as the first step out of the quagmire of poverty. The first thing that a household brings in once it has some disposable income is the chair. A chair requires a table. Schools bring in benches. The nai discards the sit-down shave, brings in the chair and mirror, and becomes 'barber'.